At least we got to see Captain America’s abs.

Dear Reader,

I’m afraid the current run of Marvel movies are determined to underwhelm me.  I’ve already touched on how the romance plots are like a forgotten accessory tossed on at the last moment.  I know that my opinion of Iron Man isn’t popular, but coming from a person who had limited exposure to comics as a child, I can only judge the movies on what I see.

Unlike some viewers, I didn’t have a problem with Captain America being a golden boy with few flaws.  Not everyone has a dark, injured past and skeletons in the closet that amount to more than a forgotten dust bunny.  I didn’t care that through the entire movie I was getting major Matrix vibes.  The death of a particular character while sad, didn’t make me write the movie off as only okay – you saw that death coming, he might as well have been wearing a red shirt.

For me the failure of the movie was the scope of the stakes.  Sure, you knew that if the bad guy won Really Bad Things would happen, but you didn’t care much about that.  I went into the movie knowing that the romance arc was going to be suspect.  It’s Captain America in WWII and he’s supposed to be in The Avengers, whoever he falls in love with isn’t going to have waited around 70 years looking fresh and young and ready to kick ass.  The romance arc was more of a line.  Or a dot.  I didn’t believe that it was all that important because honestly they never did more than trade banter, a few steamy looks and one kiss.  That’s not a romance plot, sub-plot or anything else.

What I can say the movie was good for?  Abs.  Big, hunky abs.  And Captain America’s breasts were nicer than mine.  I’m wondering if I should even bother to go see another comic movie.  I remember loving Daredevil and the Hellboy movies, but I can’t think of many others that have been interesting beyond the shock and awe trailers.

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